Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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