Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
