I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
