Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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