She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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