apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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