Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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