And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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