I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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