i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
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no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
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The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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