ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
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