I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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