It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
