we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
