The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
