Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
