Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize