When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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