I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
