Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
