Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
