i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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