if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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