am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
