Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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