JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
