you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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