ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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