super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
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the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
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Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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