i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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