So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
