oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
