Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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