he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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