Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
