I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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