A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He did a backflip because drugs
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