Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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