It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
