Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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