just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
