I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Holy sore nipples Batman
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
