Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
