Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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