Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
