Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
