I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
