ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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