I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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