Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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