Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
