My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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