Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
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He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
God gave him joint rollers for hands
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
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I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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