If that was your dad, he is hot
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
