she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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