First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
