Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
