new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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