Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
This baby is an asshole
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
