Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
