I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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