Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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