Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
